Iruka's Vacation
by Balinor88
Summary: Tsunade finds out Iruka has never had a vacation. Well he's getting one now! Longer summary inside. Kakashi/Iruka.
1. Chapter 1

Summery:

When Tsunade finds out Iruka has never had a vacation she decides to give him one, for a month. Needless to say Iruka almost has a heart attack and faints in the mission room in front of a ton of jounin when she gave him the news. Poor Iruka has never had a vacation and doesn't know what to do. Unfortunately the Jounin decided since this was the last day/shift Iruka would be working for a month (he has to finish his shift) to give the poor Chuunin hell. Well all but Anko after all she's the only one who knows the true Iruka (and there's a fine line between teasing him friendly like and ending up a target, plus the famous Sannin was sensei to both of them, but no one knows that) so she ends up safe, Ibiki does too since he has seen Iruka in action down at T&I. So because of all the trouble the jounin have caused him Iruka decides to get even, thus effectively keeping his sanity over his 'vacation'.

**Iruka's Vacation**

Hokage's Office:

Tsunade was going over files of the current mission desk workers, specifically Iruka Umino's file. Frankly she could tell something was off about the file, but not what it was. Everything looked to be above par. He was never late reporting in for mission room duty, in fact if he was late it was because of parent teacher conferences. He often stayed late to finish filing, and often picked up extra shifts if someone was sick or needed to go on a mission, or just couldn't make it that day. The scarred face chuunin she was beginning to think was a workaholic. Ah maybe that was it. She'd get Shizune to grab his file concerning his academy teaching.

"Shizune!" yelled Tsunade.

"Hai!" Shizune answered running into the office carrying TonTon the pig.

"Get me Iruka Umino's academy teaching file stat!" she ordered.

Shizune left and swiftly returned with the file. Tsunade snatched it out of her hand and quickly poured over it. Ah ha! That was what was wrong. The chuunin had never had a vacation since he became an academy teacher. Well she would fix that. Tsunade stood and strode out of the office and to the mission room. She entered and brushed past the jounin just starting to gather to turn in mission reports. She halted before Iruka and waited. It took less then a minute for him to notice her, and he swiftly rose and bowed saying, "Hokage-sama. What can I help you with?"

"Iruka Umino, You may finish this shift, but then you are going to take a month of vacation."

Iruka paled then rallied quickly, "Do you mean a vacation from the mission room or the academy?"

"Both." A stern Tsunade said.

Iruka went dead white and fainted. Tsunade sighed the chuunin had not taken the idea of a vacation all that well. "Shizune! Get the smelling salt you use for when I pass out drunk." Shizune scurried forward and threw a small packet of smelling salt underneath the passed out chuunin and backed quickly away. Iruka startled violently awake, and to the surprise of everyone present did a small fire jutsu to incinerate the smelling salt packet. He then looked up at Tsunade and said, "Pardon me Hokage-sama. I must have had a dizzy spell and fainted. You were saying?"

Tsunade sighed and braced her hands on her hips and glowered sternly at Iruka, "Umino. You fainted after I told you that you will be taking a month of vacation starting tomorrow from both the mission room and the academy. If I hear a single word of you setting foot in either of these places and working. I'll send you on a mission to mist during monsoon season."

"Is the mist mission a promise? Cause I could so go for that."Iruka replied a hopeful look on his face.

Tsunade face palmed. "Iruka if you actually want a mission to mist during monsoon season say so. I can never find a willing ninja to go. Look whether you like it or not you are going to have a vacation. Understood?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama."Iruka replied, "But the academy is having parent teacher conferences this week. I need to be there for that."

"Iruka Umino! You are not working! Though I can understand about parent teacher conferences, you may of course attend those, however you will not be teaching. Got it?"

A glum and put out chuunin replied, "Hai, Hokage-sama."

"Good!" Tsunade smiled and swept out of the room. Leaving a quiet and depressed chuunin behind, and a bunch of scheming jounin. The jounin were thinking that since it was Iruka's last day for a month, then they should give him something to remember.

Iruka shivered suddenly, he cautiously peeked up at the jounin filling the room and his scalp prickled, they were planning something...shit! Before Iruka could dodge he was hit by a water jutsu soaking him to the skin. The jounin responsible apologized and another offered to dry him off. Before he could decline an icy wind jutsu blasted at him, now he was not only wet but cold and shivering too, as he was about to give those jounin a piece of his mind, a third shouted, "That's not how you do it!" and he proceeded to make hand signs really fast for a fire jutsu. Iruka barely managed to dodge, his desk and paperwork caught on fire though so Iruka threw himself on top of the flames and smothered it. He managed to put out the fire and because he was so wet didn't get burned, but the paperwork was now a blacked mess, and so was he. His famous tick mark appeared but the jounin took no notice, however they did get in line. All in Iruka's line ignoring the other desk chuunin. Iruka tried to send the jounin to the other lines, but they would not listen. They handed him badly written reports, or reports so smudged with other things they were unreadable. Yelling at them to fix the reports didn't help matters they had to be redone three times each. By the time Kakashi reached the front the poor chuunin was ready to have a heart attack. Kakashi however paid no attention to the irate chuunin, just handed in his report and waited for the usual, "Thank-you for your work jounin-san." hold it that wasn't right. Kakashi pulled down his Icha Icha book to view his report sitting in front of Iruka. It look like his always did, so why was Iruka just letting him go? Why wasn't he berating him for being three days late? Not to mention his bad hand writing. Iruka seemed to guess what was on Kakashi's mind when he looked up and saw him standing there, "Look Kakashi-sensei for some reason or other your report is in the best condition I've seen all night. So just this once I'll let you get by." Kakashi unsettled by this soft spoken and slightly defeated sounding chuunin decided to watch and see when the chuunin headed home, and make sure he wasn't sick. Naruto wouldn't forgive him if his favorite academy teacher fell sick, and he didn't help.

Iruka was tired, but he still had to file all those reports, not to mention translate quite a few of them as well. A noise at the door caught his attention, "Anko? What are you doing here?"

"Well Ibiki wanted me to tell you that he couldn't get the nin to crack down at T&I, so report will be late. He said if you wanted to take a crack at it, to come on over. And I came here to help you. I know how to file and translate too you know. And it'll help you get done that much quicker."

"Thanks Anko. I guess you heard I've been given well ordered to take a vacation?"

"Yes and I want to point out that she said you couldn't work in the academy or the mission room. So you could come and help at T&I if you wanted. Or do you want to spar for old times sake?"

"Clever Anko as always. I think a spar would be a good idea. It'll be fun. And then I think I will find a way to get even with those jounin."

"You know I still don't understand why you just don't increase your ranking. Hell Iruka you could easily be a jounin or even Anbu if you wanted."

"Because. I don't want to be like him. By teaching at the academy I don't have to worry about killing frequently and coming to like it. Surely you can understand that?"

"I can, but Iruka you are nothing like him. You are so kind and gentle, I could never see you liking killing."

"Thanks Anko, but lets just drop it." The two ex-teammate finished the filing and translating in peaceful silence before heading companionably over to T&I. Kakashi puzzled by Anko walking with Iruka fallowed silently. What was Iruka doing with Anko? Surely he wasn't that kinky...was he? No! No that was soo wrong. But strangely they were getting along quite nicely, which seemed strange to the perverted jounin. How did the straight laced teacher know the wild and bat shit crazy Anko? Why where they going into the T&I building? Kakashi was going to go crazy with curiosity. And if he didn't cut it out, then he would soon know just why curiosity killed the cat. After waiting an hour, Iruka, Ibiki, and Anko existed T&I. Ibiki clapped Iruka on the shoulder and went off with Anko while Iruka went back to the mission room.

Kakashi shadowed Iruka all the way there and fallowed him all the way to his apartment. He watched through the window as the chuunin walked into his apartment and paused briefly to remove his sandals, after which he flopped down on the sofa and feel asleep. Kakashi sitting in a tree conveniently placed outside Iruka's apartment window (come to think about it there was always a tree placed conveniently outside the window of where ever the chuunin was. You'd think Tenzo had been stalking him.) and frowned in concern. Iruka was the type of guy that would yell at you if you didn't take care of yourself and yet here he was sleeping on a couch without even a blanket. Iruka could catch cold. Come to think of it could the chuunin get a cold? He had never seen Iruka sick, but then again he had never really paid too much attention to the scarred face nin before. But the way the other jounin had acted today and the way Anko had acted as well suggested that there was more to the chuunin then he knew. Anko was wild and insane why hadn't she joined in with the others in making Iruka's mission room shift hell? Why were those jounin behaving that way anyway? Didn't they know that Iruka was his to tease and get all huffed up and angry? Iruka had the most interesting reactions. They were so human, so full of life, something that he the copy-nin could never be. He should ask Tsunade if Iruka could be his touchestone. Hell the chuunin practically was anyway. All it took to get him to feel safe and relaxed and get out of mission mode was one blushing irate chuunin. How an irate chuunin equaled safe he had no idea. It must be the blush. Yeah that was it, the blush that explained it. But first he would ask her what was wrong with Umino.

Kakashi took off over the roofs and towards the Hokage tower, not paying any mind to how late it was. Shizune always made Tsunade finish any paperwork she had received that particular day. This was only on Monday however, not even Shizune was cruel enough to force her Hokage to stay and finish paperwork every single day. He wondered how the famous knuckle-head ninja was going to get around all that paperwork if he became Hokage, he'd have to remember to ask. He finally reached the tower and entered through the window.

"Hatake! What the hell are you doing in my office get out!" Tsunade threw a punch at him and he dodged and held up his hands in a I come in peace sign.

"Mah, Mah, Hokage-sama, I just have a question. A single question! And if I get to ask it I'll show you where Shizune stashed your saki."the copy-nin wheedled.

"Ask."

"Why does Iruka Umino look so...not himself?"

Tsunade sighed, "I really didn't think he would take it this hard." she muttered a little louder she told Kakashi, "I told him to take a month vacation from the mission room and the academy, but that he could finish his shift at the mission room tonight, and that he could attend the parent teacher conferences for the academy but he would not be teaching. Happy Brat? Why do you need to know this anyway?"

"The jounin were giving him hell."

"So?"

"He passed my mission report, without a single complaint."

"Wow. It must have been bad. Shit I should have insisted he leave right then, or told him the news in private. Where's the saki brat?"

"She hid it in TonTon's toys."

"Brat! Keep an eye on Umino. Consider it an unofficial mission. He hasn't had a vacation since he started teaching at the academy and to top it off halfway through his first year he started working in the mission office. I'm a bit worried. If he can't handle a vacation, let me know."

Kakashi nodded and transported in a poof to his apartment. His mind was buzzing with this new information about Iruka.


	2. Chapter 2

*I do not own Naruto.

Vacation Start: Day One

Iruka woke up bright and early at 5 am, and started getting ready to drop by the mission room. He was after all in need of his coffee and coffee mug, plus since he had first started at the mission room, he had always dropped by early to start the coffee machine, and lay out pens and sort mission scrolls for the other 'paper-nin' to hand out and assign to fellow nins, and genin teams.

But since he technically couldn't work in the mission office today, they would have to get along for themselves for once, and they could get their own coffee, after all if he wasn't going to be drinking it later as he worked there, and he himself paid for it, out of his pocket money, it was his not theirs and they can go drink that sludge of battery acid the council had bought for them. Maybe then when he got back from vacation, they would be willing to petition the council for some better coffee, or else cry tears of joy when he returned.

And so Iruka walked into the mission room...or rather he tried to. The Anbu stopped him. He raised an eye-brow.

"Cat-san, Frog-san. Could you move?"

"Negative, you are on Vacation. Hokage-sama told us to make sure you didn't enter the mission room to work." replied Cat-san.

Iruka blinked, "Well its a good thing, I didn't come hear to work then isn't it? Move aside please?"

"No." stated Frog-san firmly. Iruka's eye twitched, he spun to leave, then whirled throwing a smoke-bomb down. BANG! The hallway filled with smoke. Soon the sounds of fighting and pained grunts filled the air. And when the smoke cleared, the two Anbu were grappling each other.

A shadow strolled away from the scene shaking with suppressed laughter. Before slipping down a rarely used alleyway to head towards the academy and more of his precious coffee, and his favorite dolphin mug.

Crouched on top of the building, Anko shook her head and laughed. Iruka would do anything for that coffee. Especially since he has to go to Mist to get it. Unfortunately he doesn't get there often, and so stocks up on hundreds of the coffee cans. It helps he got her addicted to the stuff, as she ends up on long distant missions a lot, and so with the money from every other paycheck with her, she reestablishes their supply. Most people think she is insane about her dango, well they haven't met Iruka when he is out of coffee, and once there was only one can left of it in all of Mist country. The Mizukage almost banned them for the resulting chaos, but seemed to think better of it, when he re-thought about all the lengths Iruka had went to, to get that one can. He even went so far as to order that if there is only one can of coffee left on the shelf that it is to be automatically mailed to Iruka. That in itself was a miracle, as more often then not, it meant that if Iruka couldn't get away from Konoha he would never run out of coffee and their home village would never have to know the horrors of Iruka without his coffee.

Anko shuddered, even Oro-baka sensei never got between Iruka and his coffee after that incident. Course that may have been because Iruka almost killed him, considering he was the one who was trying to buy the last can in the first place, because he was going to punish Iruka for not striking killing blows to a couple of kittens, that almost gave away their position.

Done reminiscing, Anko decided Iruka was back into his apartment by now, and so popped over to see if, he was in a good enough mood to maybe share his coffee with her. Turns out he was on his third cup of the morning and feeling quite mellow, and even served her dango to go with the cup of coffee.

"But only one cup, mind you Anko. I still need to drink three more cups, before I'll even begin to survive this...this..._vacation_." he had drawled with such an intense dislike the word vacation, she had to stifle a giggle.

"Ah! But Iruka-kun you mean to tell me, your actually going to go on vacation?" she teased lightly.

"For now, anyway. I've never had a vacation before, so I may as well try it. But if I run out of coffee, I'll make sure Hokage-sama sends me on a mission to Mist. But they just mailed me another can of coffee. So I should be fine. Sides they'll be begging me to come back to work in no-time. At least at the academy. Who else can handle the genin, I teach?"

"Quite frankly I don't know how even _you_ handle teaching those monsters, everyday. Heh...say Ru-chan?"

"Hmm...Yes?"

"Your coffee money is lower then usual, right? What with treating Naruto to ramen more and more often?"

_sigh_ "That is true Ko-chan. So?"

"How about we make bets on how long each teacher lasts, when it comes to teaching your class? We could make a lot of money." she sang sweetly.

An unholy grin threatened to break Iruka's face in half, as he thought about his precious and precocious kids driving substitute after substitute to quit. Even jounin substitutes. He started to drool a little at the thought of grown nin running in fear from pre-genins.

"YES! Lets do it! But we'll have to make sure every teacher lasts different lengths of time. And if the kiddies seems to be faltering, I'll just slip them some sugar in their bento boxes, and the substitute will be gone by the end of the day." Iruka paused frowning, "But I don't want them to fall behind other classes, or not learn anything...Got it!" and he dashed off to his bedroom.

Anko had a bad feeling, and felt a slight twinge of guilt for the poor nin that were about to meet their match in Iruka's pre-genin. When he returned he held a small box. It held a piece of paper in it.

"The paper is the lesson plans for the day. It will change automatically, when they complete the lesson. I'll hand the box to Konohamuru, and tell him, that now he can go on missions like 'Boss'. There is also a smaller piece of paper giving them a deadline to get rid of their new teachers. Now in order for them to get the much needed hands on part of the lesson, they just need to hold onto the paper and channel a small amount of chakra into it. Then they will be pulled into a mindscape and I will teach them. It lasts for the entire school day, but in reality only one minute will have passed."

"Where did you learn that?! And you aren't supposed to be teaching." Anko demanded.

"It's a family technique. I'm the last Umino, so in order to learn the jutsu's that have been in my family for generations, this box was created. It was created at the very start of the Umino clan. The children would use it to go over lesson's and techniques taught that day or earlier or to simply review and practice over and over again. And I had my lesson plans transferred into it, at the beginning of the year, so if the students had a hard time with it, I could watch it from their point of view, and modify it as needed. So technically I'm not teaching. A memory is." Iruka stuck his tongue out at Anko.

Anko rolled her eyes, and poured Iruka another cup of coffee. "So, what are you going to do today?"

"Read, go for ramen, drink coffee, spar with you, and then the bar, after parent teacher conferences."

"Ah! Ru-chans going to the bar after parent teacher conferences?! I'm surprised at you!"

"Oh lay off, you'd be in a bar too if you had to deal with Hanbei's father. He's pushing for her to graduate early, and she is no where near ready. Genin are placed on teams of three for a reason, yes some ninja work solo, but sometimes they have to work with others. Hanbei hasn't shown that capability yet, plus despite her eyes she has trouble with genjutsu's. I'd leave it for a jounin instructor, but she hasn't even caught on to the basics that are necessary for graduation from the academy yet."

"Okay, okay Iruka I get it. Enough with the lecture, so what time you wanna spar?"

"Hmm...three should work. Conferences start at six, so that gives enough time to go all out, shower and bandage up, and then meet with the kiddies parents."

"Sounds good see you at three." and Anko slipped out of the apartment.

Iruka sipped the last of his coffee, rinsed and dried the mug, picked up the box, and went to broker a deal with a certain brat.

* Ano sorry it took so long to up-date! To be fair I had it written, but due to difficulties misplaced it, it might be a while on this next chapter...I want Kakashi in it, and he's a bit hard for me to write. And yes my Iruka is addicted to Mist coffee, and former teammates with Anko.


End file.
